I began, what I like to call, “my new life” when I moved from Indianapolis to rural West Virginia just over one year ago. I quite welcome to the idea of moving to be with my handsome farmer, and I have never been happier.
First of all, let’s distinguish my experience from a completely new identity. On paper, it sure could look like I obtained a new identity. I changed states. I got a new driver’s license. A new last name. I got a new email address. A new Facebook page. I moved from the city to the country. I quit my career. Did I indeed change my identity?
No, I just complicated it!
Did I win my self a fresh start in this process? Well… Potentially.
There are some issues with the whole “fresh start” thing that must be considered.
In reality, wouldn’t an entirely fresh start mean not having or a past? Being in my mid-thirties, I had certainly lived enough life to have a past. How about just deny your past? Well, I suppose it is an option…
Someone or some people from your “old life” will still want to connect with you. After all -whether you like or not- life ultimately boils down to relationships. That is a good thing. Relationships with my Indiana friends and family simply became long-distance.
People in your new life will ask questions. New faces will want to “get to know you”. Unless you plan to lie, you will have to give them a peek into your former life.
For the most part, you are who you are. Sure people change. But it is very hard to change who we really are at our core. Our personality. Guess what? I’m quiet. I was then and I still am.
Darn it! I wanted to suddenly have a bubbly personality in my new life!
My family likes to tell me I am different now (for the better). They tell me I am clearly happier now. But, honesty, I know that I have remained true to my self. The good and not so good parts of my self came with me. Perhaps the good has just been able to surface more here and now.
So maybe you try to avoid your old life from touching your new one? Hello, double life! That could potentially mess with your head.
Now that my transition from old to new life is over, I consider my experience not to have been a fresh start. It was a life change.
A big, glorious, beautiful change.
Life is a journey. I certainly managed to change my life for the better. but I did not “start over”.
Some of my past remains a part of my life -and always will.
The takeaway? You don’t have to strive for an entirely fresh start. Instead consider making change in your life if you are unhappy with a part of it, or all of it. Small change, big change. It is a very achievable thing.